From another blog site...

I figured I'd add some of my better blogs from other places I've tried it, just in case anyone wants to catch up!

So, over the last week, I’ve been dealing with some horrendous things associated with my health. What's wrong with me? Well, it’s this whole connection I have with Montel Williams. No, I’m not talking about Sylvia Browne! Although I'm fascinated by the possibility that there are truly people who can somehow communicate with the dead, see spirit guides or help others cross over. I hope to someday meet the person who is going to do those things for me when I'm dead and gone, so that they can gain an understanding of my quirky sense of humor and my sarcasm. I'd hate to have them tell my husband "and she never did like it when you bought her that new washer and dryer that she told you she just had to have." (Side note: I LOVE my washer and dryer. I stand and watch them work sometimes, because they’re so cool!) But I digress...

Montel Williams has Multiple Sclerosis and so do I. When it's hot outside, my symptoms get worse and I can't do simple things like tie my shoes (I just don't wear any), type quickly or accurately (whoeewk needdddds tootoo typelei properlyski anyhoooo?), remember what to buy at the store (darn toilet paper! Good thing I've gotten all of those catalogs in the mail lately. JC Penney has never looked so good!) or change my son's diaper without getting my hand covered in poop (Honey, hand me the sporting goods section of the catalog, would you please?)

I read somewhere that I can get my electric bill paid for by my insurance company because for me, air conditioning is necessary health care. Folks with MS have got to stay cool. I wonder if they'll also pay for a jacuzzi tub, an in-ground swimming pool and a yacht (with air conditioning, of course!) Those things would all help me be cool. I wonder if I can convince them it's medically necessary?!?!

I've also been having a problem talking. Don’t get me wrong, I've always screwed up popular sayings such as announcing back in the 80's "Your mamma wears cowboy boots!" or to my husband when exchanging clichés that compliment the other person "your face could stop a freight train." I've also proclaimed that I was "All that and a burger and fries", and tried to be witty one day when asked if I had a match and replied "yeah, your ass and my face." However, I've taken it to a whole new level lately, I just FORGET what I'm trying to say completely, or say really off the wall things, and I attribute it to the heat and my MS. Example: I said to my son the other day "Not right now honey, mommy needs a lobotomy." HUH? Or to my stepson: "Hey, go in the kitchen and get me a Grandma orange.” A WHAT? Or to my husband: "when you stop at the - the - the - you know, place where we get the laundry detergent." "The store?" he asked. "Yeah, the store. I need some ummm... of THOSE THINGS. "

He says "I'm not buying you girlie products."

"NO NO NO! Not THOSE things, those other things that I put in my lunch bag.” He couldn’t figure it out and I couldn't find the words for it either. When he came home I said "did you remember the toilet paper like I asked you to get?"

"You didn't ask for toilet paper, you asked for the things you put in your lunch bag, so I bought you yogurt, applesauce, bananas, milk and plastic forks. You didn’t say toilet paper. "

"Well that’s what I meant to say!" I said defiantly. "Did you bring in the mail?" I ask.

"Yup!" he said. "You got another Victoria’s Secret catalog."

"Great timing. I think I need to go to the bathroom. Gimme that catalog, I want to wipe my butt with that perfect looking woman. I don't like her much anyway."