PP's sage words of advice...

Once in awhile, it's good to reflect on your life. At other times, it's better to let the past be the past and move on to the future. That's what I'm going to do, because I can't change the things I've done and I've grown enough to realize that all of those things helped make me the person I am today.

SO, I'd like to dish out some of the lessons I've learned and with a little hard work and dedication, you too can move into the realm of "I just dont give a crap what you think!"


1) Women: When faced with the harsh truth that someone just called you a c*nt, say to yourself, "Self, its just a word." Then, promptly hit the jerk over the head with the nearest heavy object. Tried and true tools for this purpose include cast iron skillets, dictionaries and the Bible. You're only limited by your imagination in this situation, so let loose!


2) When you're waiting for results from some sort of medical test to tell you what's wrong with you, ASSUME that its terminal. Use this time to make sure your affairs are in order, do a will, power of attorney, etc. It really helps pass the time while you wait! Write sappy notes to friends and family telling them how much you love them. Start each note with "If anything ever happens to me". That way, when the results finally come in, if it's the dreaded bad news, you can focus on YOU instead of doing all of these things. If it comes back as something else, you can accept your diagnosis with a sigh of relief. Example: Doc: "PP, I'm sorry to tell you, but you have MS." PP: "Far out!! That is most excellent news!" See, because I was expecting the worst, something like MS didnt seem so bad!


3) When you're criticized at work for not doing your job well enough, throw whatever tools of the trade are in front of you at the time (tools, papers, binders, staplers, etc.) to the floor and shout "Let's see you do better with this crap!" Then, storm out of the building/work site/whatever. You may not be welcomed back the next day, however do you really want to work in a place where people criticize you? Win-Win situation!

4) When faced with the possibility that your significant other may be cheating on you, picture this: If it's a woman, picture her cheating with another woman. Men, I promise you, your anger will disappear, even if it's only temporary. Repeat as necessary. If it's a man, picture him cheating with another man. Ladies, I promise you, your anger will turn to disgust and you simply won't want to think about it anymore.

5) Men: using the phrase "I'm not going to answer that question because anything I say will be wrong", realize that your statement is just as wrong as anything else you might say. It's always better to give your honest opinion and take your lumps. It's because of men who wont comment on their womans outfit that we have to see things like this:





I must go now. I need to work on my ark!



PP Out!