Labor Day - WTF

Greetings loyal subjects! Sure hope all of you are having a super cool & groovy holiday weekend! Thought I would take a moment and share some insight about the strangest of all holidays - Labor Day.

Labor Day is not a holiday based around religion, wars, legends, or greeting card makers. Why, it's a holiday to celebrate working! Is that something we really need to celebrate? I have to drag my butt to work in order to have health insurance and be able to buy medications, food, clothing, shelter, etc. Hooray! How dumb is that? In protest, next year, I'm going to refuse to take Labor Day off of work. I'm going to refuse to acknowledge the celebration of work.

There are so many other inspiring things I would rather celebrate. I'll have to pick one of those to take off in place of Labor Day. For example:

Perhaps we should celebrate ex's! Yes, as I look back on my history with dating and relationships, I can honestly say I would be so willing to celebrate the fact that each of them are out of my life. I think we could celebrate this exactly 6 months after Valentine's day - August 14. We could call it "Good Riddance Day". There could be a huge bonfire every year where people come to purge themselves of the remains and memories of old relationships. WOO HOO! I'm there.

If that doesn't suit you, perhaps we could celebrate Senator's Day or Congressmen's Day. After all, they are our local representatives in the government, ones we're more likely to run into on the street than the President.

Or maybe we could celebrate a rotating holiday. One where everyone gets to pick one special day to celebrate whatever it is they want, including that the wife made a meal and didn't burn it, your baby only had one poopy diaper, or even that the poopy diaper occurred while Grandma was babysitting.

What about a holiday celebrating the fact that, in general, we don't eat our young? We could call that "Foodivores Day"

How about World Stupidity Day? There's tons of that to celebrate! There could be contests of people standing in front of a crowd, trying to answer a series of 20 questions such as "who was the last president that did not win the majority of the popular vote in the presidential election?" That's a doubly stupid question if you think about it!

Those are my main thoughts for holidays I'd rather celebrate. I'm not so sure any of them will catch on. However, it has got to be better than celebrating the fact that I have to get up at 5:00 every weekday just to be able to live. Come on now! Stand with me, and lets come up with some new holidays. There are still several months that we don't have a day off of work for a holiday. If we work together, we can change that. We still have February, March, April, June, August, and October that need holidays that will give us a day off! Let's get to writing those letters and requesting that we be heard. After all, it's supposed to be our government and it's supposed to be of the people, by the people and for the people, right? Well, we're people! Let's do it for us! Let's do it for our country! Let's do it for Johnny....