Tuesdays in the Park with Psycho

This is going to be Part 1 (or I as the Romans called it) of a yet to be determined number of blog posts on a day in the life of yours truly. It may be the only blog in the series, therefore the 1 (or I) may not be necessary. Let's see if you can keep up, shall we?

5:15 a.m.: The alarm goes off. The first thing that I think of after hitting the snooze button: Is the Crocodile Hunter really gone? I realize, that yes, he is and I roll out of bed. I put on my gigantic polar bear bathrobe because it's cold in my house and head down the hall. I'm such an addict that I grab my new Mac and a smoke and head out to the deck to sit in the dark, have a smoke and check my mail. Do some reading of messages, a friend's blog, check to see if Katie still wants to talk to me after my silliness yesterday (not yet!). One day, I hope to successfully quit smoking for good AND being addicted to people I don't know on the internet! I dont know which will be easier.

5:45 a.m.: Head back into the house, hit the bathroom and I just stare at myself. I was too beat last night to take off my makeup, so it has smeared all over my face and I now look like a hooker who has been crying. Great. I dont have any energy, so I'm not doing my hair, other than brushing it and maybe place a few strategic curls on the side of my head so that I don't look like I just got out of bed. The eye makeup remover has left my eye area shiny and greasy feeling (dang oil!) and no amount of washing is getting it off. Oh well, I'll just tell everyone I've been crying all day. Maybe they'll be nicer to me! HAHAHA

6:05 a.m.: Head in to wake up Ming Ming Duckling (Wonderpet - he insists that is his name). Even at 2 ½, he knows that it's not fun to wake up and have the lights on in your room. "TURN OFF THE LIGHT MOMMY!" Fine. I pick out clothes in the dark and hope they match. He's very particular in that I'm not really allowed to talk to him in the morning until he talks to me. So, I go thru our routine. I sit in the chair next to his bed; he brings the entire contents of his bed over to the chair, cuddles up to me for all of 30 seconds and then yells "I NEED MY CHOCOLATE MILK! MOMMY NEEDS COFFEE! LETS GET OUT OF HERE!!! " Coffee...I didnt make any. Bummer.

6:20 a.m.: Ming Ming is watching Dragon Tales; I'm trying to find just one freaking pair of shoes that will look ok with a blue dress. Ming Ming says "Mommy! You look like a princess!" I start to tear up...great, now the new makeup will run over the oily makeup and I'll really look like a hooker. I go to get him dressed, figuring I'd better put pants on him as it's chilly outside. I'll take a pair of shorts to Ms. Kathys. I go to pull on his pants: high waters. Great. I havent bought him any new pants since last fall. They were all too long for him then. Now, he could go walking through a flood and his pants would be dry. So, I find a pair of sweatpants for him that were WAY too big last year. Perfect fit. Bad Mommy only has one pair of pants for Ming Ming Duckling. At least he's dressed (and even sort of matches!), and I head off to pack lunches

6:40 a.m.: Time to leave! Ming Ming doesnt want to go. "Mommy, let's go to Dragon Land!" So, we leave the house, Ming Ming complaining the whole way about wanting to watch stinkin Dragon Tales. ½ way to the car - rain. Not just rain, downpour. The umbrella is in the van. Great, just great. Now, I'm a crying hooker who got stuck in the rain. Just lovely.

7:05 a.m.: Time for me to leave Ming Ming with Ms. Kathy. He looks at me with big ole puppy dog eyes and says "Mommy, dont you want to stay with me?" as he grabs my hand. Here come the tears. From me. I explain I would love to stay with him, but I can't. Mommy has to work cuz Daddy cant support her lifestyle by himself (Mamma needs a new pair of shoes!). He's got a hold of my hand now. "Mommy, don't let go of my hand!" Reminiscent of that scene in Titanic where the swanky Kate Winslett is holding on to the skanky Leo in the water, "I'll never let go!!" Oh man. I tear myself away and have to bolt out the door so he doesn't see me crying. I head to work, crying most of the way, wondering why the hell I have to work at all. Why can't Mommy the Princess and Ming Ming Duckling stay home together and go to Dragon Land whenever they want? Then, I wouldn't even need new shoes!

7:45 a.m.: Finally make it to my desk. No one better mess with me today. I'm in a mood. I finally got my first cup of coffee at 8:10. Its 8:45 now and I'm on cup number 3. That can't be good for me. But you know what? I dont care. I'm here, I'm at work and dammit, I'm tired. And the day is just getting started.