A post about nothing - or everything

I have nothing to say to you, my loyal minions. However, a great man once told me that if I didn't write something every day, I may never have anything to say again. To him I say: "Wishful thinking Jerry, wishful thinking!"

I've decided to tell a couple of stories about my son and funny things he says. Couple things you need to know about me for some of this to make sense:

1. I have small boobs (thank GOD for gel bras!)
2. One is smaller than the other, and not in the normal way that all women's are different sizes. I'm talking a complete cup size. And when your good side is an A cup, that doesn't leave much room for ANYTHING on the other side.

OK, on with the story telling...

So, the other day, I'm getting out of the shower, all wrapped up in my towel. My son come in the bathroom and announces he has to pee and starts pulling down his pants (if only he would actually try the potty out, I'd be THRILLED!). I figure this is a great time to get dressed as he's occupied and won't open the door while I'm standing there naked, blinding anyone who walks by and scarring my step son for life. I drop the towel and lean over to grab my bra and he says "MOMMY!! You have a big one!!" Nice. Even my 2 1/2 year old noticed the difference in size. Just great. Then, a look of horror crosses his face as he yells "MOMMY!! YOU HAVE 2!!" I just giggled and laughed and got dressed wondering why men I'm NOT related to don't tell me I have big ones!

One day, on the way home from the pharmacy, my son says to me, "Where's daddy?" "Daddy's at home, we're running late." He says "Is daddy sleeping?" "No." "Is daddy working?" "No." "Does Daddy have his underwear on?" Well, I started laughing and said "I'm sure he does!" "Call him and ask!" he says. "I'm not calling Daddy..." "CALL HIM NOW AND SEE!!" So, I called. What else am I going to do? As I suspected, Daddy had the undies on and was confused about why we would ask.

One day, I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween. He said "A dragon!" without even thinking about it. I said that I wanted to be a princess. He says "No Mommy, you a witch!!"

The other day, he informed me that he missed Ms. Kathy (Day care provider) and that he couldn't wait to see her. He said he wanted to "give her some shugas." He said it like a true southern lady. He was also wearing a pair of my slippers at the time. I should mention that Kathy asks for hugs by saying "give me some sugar!" She truly does love my baby and all her kids, but she doesn't love them too much, if you know what I mean. However, one day, she was setting up her valentine's day decorations and was missing the letter "E" from her cubes that spell out LOVE. When one of the little girls found it in a box, she informed everyone who came in the house to pick up their kids that "Kathy and I made love today!". Out of the mouths of babes, I tell ya!

He put himself on time-out the other day. When I asked him why, he said it was because "I might break something later."

And now, I've written. Nothing original, but hey, I didn't want to be speechless for the rest of my life! Now I should go look into how much just one breast implant would cost me. Would anyone even do an implant just to give someone an A cup? And if so, will they laugh and giggle at me when I walk out? And if so, will I somehow KNOW that they're doing that? And would they share the story with their friends? Would I read a blog about it somewhere from a guy with a screen name of "HooterDoc"? Would there be pictures? Would they reveal my true identity? Would EVERYONE know that I wear a gel bra to fill out my clothes? Oh wait, they already do now, don't they?

Happy nothingness! (THAT was not a boob joke...)