More psycho relationship tips

Well, here I am. It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm preparing to do something tomorrow I have never had to do before - go be a witness at a deposition for a friend's divorce. They'd been married for 23 years when he walked out. That pointed out the fact to me that you're never "safe" in a marriage. You have to work on it - even if you've been married for 23 years! Makes me look at the relationships around me that aren't going so well and be THRILLED not to be in their shoes (probably a doubly-good thing as I have small, super wide feet and extremely high arches!). 3 quick lessons learned from three endangered couples I know:

1) I'm going to steal something I read on another's site. It's about digging. When you start digging to get at a person's past, please remember that when you're done, you may find what you're looking for, you my not. HOWEVER, you will ALWAYS leave a hole. Think about a slab of dirt. As you dig, you may uncover coins, rare artifacts, trash, etc. You have to remove them from the hole (that's why you're digging in the first place, remember?). You cannot put them back. You can try to push all the dirt back inside, but there won't be enough to fill that hole, because you've taken things out of it. And some of that dirt won't be that easy to get back in the hole - it may be something you never accomplish, and even if you do, it won't fit right again for a very, very long time. And besides, at the point, they don't want the same dirt back in the hole anyhow, if you catch my drift!

2) When deciding whether or not to ask your significant other to marry you, consider only your love for them. Do not think about what it's going to cost, how uncomfortable you may feel on the dance floor, or how much you don't like her/your family. It's not about them. It's about agreeing to show that one special person that she is the one you want to poke for the rest of your life and that if you change your mind, she's more than likely entitled to half of everything you own.

3) And finally, don't create a world where your significant other feels smothered, like he/she can never leave the house without you by their side. People go out and do things - if they don't, they're called hermits. It's not healthy to have no interests outside your significant other, it's called obsession & dependance. It's also not good to feel like a prisoner in your own home. That's a recipe for disaster. And remember: sometimes an apple pie really is just an apple pie. Granted, sometimes it's really pecan pie, but they didn't know how to properly say that word (PEE-can / Peh-KHAN / PEE-khan / Peking - who wants Chinese?) in whatever region of the country you're from so they went with apple.