Do it for your CUNTry

There comes a time in every woman's life when she has to take stock of her life and ask herself some very important questions. Possibly, the most important question she can ask is: Do I have orgasms often enough?

The answer: probably not!

How much is enough? Well, I'm a firm believer that every woman should have a minimum of three orgasms per day, more if opportunities present themselves.

Now men, as has been discussed many times over, the majority of women do not have vaginal orgasms. What does this mean for you? Be sure you fully pleasure your woman during foreplay to the point of multiple orgasms. It's really not that tough. Use the 1-2-3 method. It goes like this:

1. Bring her to orgasm with your hands first. The right combination of finger movements can get a woman squirming like a snake in the grass. And, as good as is feels to have you rubbing on her bean, know that you should prolong the pleasure. Bring her to the edge several times, ease up, perhaps dipping the fingers inside her treasure trove a few times before going back to her clit. She'll let you know when she's ready.

2. Next, use your mouth. Eat that pussy! Get in there and enjoy yourself. Again, a good combination is necessary here. Use whatever technique you may use that has good results. And ladies - speak up if something is just not working for you. Guide him gently in the direction you want his tongue (and hands) to go.

3. Bust out her favorite toy and use it on her. Experiment with it - find out what she likes and doesn't like. Find that right combination of buttons and movement that will both stimulate her clit and fill her twat with her own juices & overall goodness.

Guys, we like this kind of shit. TAKE YOUR TIME, enjoy it and ravage our entire body before sticking your dick in. Your needs are much more simple than ours. You need to have a warm, wet hole to stick your cock in. We need more than that. Make it worth our while and we'll be more likely to make it worth yours.

Now, it's your turn. We're much more likely to enjoy doing it when we're properly juiced up and have had the motor turned over a few times. Why? Because at that point, we've already had 3 delicious orgasms (Of course, if you're one of those bitches who enjoy vaginal orgasms on a regular basis, I am totally jealous (Jen Now with Wings) because you will get to have 4 or more following this method, that is if he's doing it right) and we're good and are finally interested in YOUR pleasure. We can give it our full attention and do our best to ensure that you enjoy yourself as much as we enjoyed ours.

And good god people - TALK TO EACH OTHER! Don't like it when he sticks his tongue in your ear? Suggest a better place for him to stick it! Want her to play with her own nipples? Tell her to! Want him to go faster? Slower? Yell it out! Want her to stimulate her own clit while you're screwing the shit out of her? Guide her hand there. Sex is as good as you make it, not only for each other, but for yourself.

Not sure what you like? Experiment on your own. Buy a good vibrator and see if you like it hard & fast, slow & steady, angled, deep thrusts, whatever. Perhaps you'll enjoy the sensation of having a rod (real or fake) slowly being pulled out of you, so that it almost slips out then thrust in hard, so you REALLY know it's there. Guys, they make items out there for you too - flesh lights, pussy in a can, etc. Get one. Practice. See what YOU like so you can try it out on a real live woman sometime.

And one last word of advice, best told from the viewpoint of the genius rockers, Tenacious D in their lyrics to "Fuck Her Gently":

You don't always have to fuck her hard, in fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love and fuckin' give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze; Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey -

I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly
I'm gonna ball you discreetly

And then you say hey I bought you flowers
And then you say wait a minute, sorry
I think I got somethin' in my teeth, could you get it out for me?
That's fuckin' teamwork

What's your favorite posish?
That's cool with me, it's not my favorite but I'll do it for you
What's your favorite dish?
I'm not gonna cook it, but I'll order it from Zanzibar

And then I'm gonna love you completely
And then I'll fuckin' fuck you discreetly
And then I'll fucking bone you completely
But then I'm gonna fuck you hard