Drugs, A Peacock and My Boobs

FIRST: a little explanation/clarification: Jerry and I are NOT having any relationship problems. All is right in the world with that. He has been having some trouble with an addiction to pain killers. Way back before the back surgery, they put him on oxycodone. Six months later, it's time for him to come off of them & he's struggling, as would anyone who took Oxy for that long. It was never a choice for him to be on them, rather a necessity to get through each day. Oxy is some bad shit. I'm angry at the doctors for writing the Rx's for so long. They do this for so many people - they want to help get you hooked, but they are unwilling to help you ween yourself off of them. At least he's got a good doctor who is working with him on it and will see him every few days. So, my struggles as of late, involve watching my husband go through some rather unpleasant withdrawls and being able to do absolutely nothing. But, I know he'll get through it. We've found we can get through anything together, as long as we're 100% honest with each other. I think he knows if he wasn't honest with me, there would be hell to pay, but that's neither here nor there. Perhaps when it's all behind us, I'll tell you more about it, but it is a very personal thing for us, so I'm just going to leave it at that for now. But the psycho family is good to go. No worries mateys! And suddenly, I'm a pirate. Arrrgh!

I've discovered a new musical interest for me: Alice Peacock. I'm in love with her voice and the words to her songs. Half of you probably already know who she is, but I had NEVER heard of her before, until I heard her on XM Cafe, which has quickly become my favorite XM station. If you don't know who Alice Peacock is and you ever need a little personal lift, check out her song "Who I Am" (incidentally, it's my profile song of choice).

I have a new fascination! Don't worry, sex toys are so still at the top of my list. But, I do have a new interest, at least for the time being - my hooters! I know I blogged a while back that I'm learning how to like them. Well, now I'm fascinated by them! I can't seem to keep my hands off them, or stop looking at them.

I now have 3 really good bras (thanks honey!) complete with gel, all from Fredericks. One is teal, one is beige and one is lacey and pink & lavender. All of them are very comfie and make my tits look HUGE to me - normal sized to most other women. So, I'm noticing that there are certain shirts I can wear with each bra and they look different. I'm learning which bra/shirt combinations gives me the best looking set of hooters, which is important to me. I'd like to be recognized for having a "decent" rack. I know it'll never be an awesome rack, but I really will take "decent".

But, more importantly, I like touching my boobies now. I've noticed when I'm reading or doing a crossword puzzle, or even watching tv that one hand always winds up inside my shirt, resting on my boob. I'm not rubbing, squeezing, caressing or anything. I'm just laying it there - like you would on an arm rest. Some day, perhaps I'll work up to touching other people's melons to see how mine compare, but for now, I'll stick with getting to know my own.

I've also noticed that any time I'm getting dressed and I'm naked (or half naked) I stop in front of the mirror, turn to the side to get a profile view. And then I smile. When I get in my pj's, and move around, I'm checking out how the boobies look in the nightie. And - here's the really bizarre part - if they're not showing enough, I adjust the nightie so that a hint of tittie is visible out the top of the nightie. When I climb into bed, I look down to be sure that Jerry's getting a good view of the twins. BUT - and here's the kicker- I DO THIS EVEN WHEN I'M ALONE IN THE BED. What the fuck is that about? Maybe it's because I assume that there is a hidden camera somewhere in my room and I want to be certain whoever is watching is getting the best view they can possibly get.

I did notice that since I've been paying more attention to my jugs, that they are more responsive to cold than they've ever been. They also react more appropriately to touch as well. Perhaps they're no longer shy because mamma's been showing them the love. They truly are like two little girls who just need love and attention to blossom into something more. Granted, I never thought it would take until I was nearly 36 years old to have knockers to be proud of, or that I would ever be proud of them without surgery, so this is a huge step for me.

I'm not sure what this new fascination is about with my fun bags. I will say that I think the combination of bra/shirt I'm wearing today is one of my finest and when I'm at lunch with Kris, I'll see if I can get her to snap a photo for you and update this blog, because I'm proud of them today. Even better than the salmon colored sweater, IMHO!

OK, I'm off to work and play with my boobs - I mean myself - I mean...oh forget it. You are all just going to make up in your minds what it is I'm really doing today, so I won't even try.