If I could do that, I'd never leave my house

The other night I was in my kitchen doing something. No, I don't remember what it was, all I can tell you is that I wasn't naked. And I got the call. It was coming from inside the house. The living room to be exact. It went something like this:

"MOMMY!! Timber is eating himself!" (Timber is one of my dogs). So I go in there and sure enough, the dog is chewing on his paw. He has a dew claw (what does it dew? HA!) and when it grows, it curves around and grows into his skin. When it first starts poking him, he chews and licks and we know it's time to cut it. But that is so far removed from the point of my story, that it was a waste of time to type it, and an even bigger waste of time for you to read it.

Anyhow, I got to thinking about that statement, "Timber is eating himself". And I thought that just about every guy I knew would have made a comment like "Lucky dog". And it got me thinking.

Guys always say if they could give themselves a BJ, that they'd never leave the house. Well, I've got some questions about that.

1) Do you think you would be good at it?

2) How long do you think you can go before your mouth gets sore?

3) Would you leave your eyes open or closed?

4) Would you swallow? (You would if you love yourself!)



For the female groupies in the crowd, you can answer these questions about licking your own snatch.

1) Do you think you would be good at it?

2) Do you think you would enjoy your own taste/smell?

3) Would you leave your eyes open or closed?

4) Would you have your fingers in the pie or just holding things open?

What other questions would you like to ask a person, assuming they could perform oral sex on themselves? Perhaps hearing the answers of the opposite sex will help us all be better at what we do when we do that thing we do.