Don't ask me why I have that, I'm not telling. But anyhow, this pirate wants to see the world through your eyes. So I was thinking, if I had a willing participant, I could mail him to you. And you could take him somewhere, put him on and let him see the world through your eyes. Then that person can take a picture of themselves as the pirate in some touristy kind of spot or doing something outrageously fun and send it to me. I'll open up his own Pirate MySpace page and we'll post them. Then that person should send him either home or out to someone else on MySpace. I have this vision of the Pirate doing great things!
So, are you in? If so, send me a private message explaining why I should send you the pirate, including what you're going to do with him .. be sure to include a mailing address. I'll pick someone to send it to. And if I don't pick you the first time, you'll be on the list of who to send him to the next time he comes home. There will be rules so that we can be sure to follow his adventure, and when I send him out on his maiden voyage, I'll be sure to include the rules.
Now, he is very light foam, and I think can probably find a very light/small box so he shouldn't cost more than $1.50 or so to mail. SO, let's send the pirate on an adventure. We should probably name him too. I'll take suggestions for his name and then we'll vote. Or something gay like that.
There's my silliness for Sunday morning. Now, I need to talk to you about something personal. It involves the conversation at my house last night, women thingies, bodily functions and sex. If you came here for the pirate, you'll want to turn back now.
So, last night, my 12 year old step son, turns to me and says: "Kim, do you have trouble pooping when you have your period?" Let me back up .. the wiener is swollen. I'd post you a picture of her naughty bits, but I don't think MySpace will allow me to post it. Even if they did, Photobucket would deem it inappropriate and delete it. I should mention the reason the wiener is also bleeding a little bit. Poor thing. A mini-wiener all swollen and bleeding. Anyhow, the wiener also has been having a little bit of trouble peeing and pooping because her area is so swollen. So it really was a natural question. I was just impressed that a 12 year old boy had no qualms about asking about my period. I love that kid!
So, back to the wiener. We're standing outside watching her to make sure she goes (she hadn't gone most of the day) and then the question came. It was the funniest thing, and I think Jerry was a little weirded out by it all. When she finally pooped, Jerry is staring at her intently and said "YAY!" My stepson pumped both fists in the air. You would think that the wiener had just finished a marathon.
For those of you curious, I do NOT have trouble with bodily functions when I'm ragging. However, the stunning labia do get a little swollen and even feel like they are throbbing at times during my special moments. Does anyone else experience this? I am also extremely horny during that week. TMI? I don't think so. You know you were wondering these things. I just thought I would offer it to you before you asked. I know how embarrassing it can be to ask the tough questions.
I have no real plans for today, aside from grocery shopping and laundry. Doesn't that sound exciting? I'm just keeping it real folks.
***Little update already on the pirate. He'll most likely start in Tokyo. Since I have a PO Box, you can just send me your address. Then, everyone can just send him back to me and I'll send it out to everyone who wants it. That way, we can be sure some wacko doesn't get your home address. Just this wacko will have it. And I don't get out much, so I assure you you're safe! So, get in on the action now and send me your address.
No comments:
Post a Comment