Sex Tag!

The very lovely Sara has tagged me just KNOWING that I couldn't resist. In turn, I tag everyone of you bitches & bastards (and when I say that I really mean female & male friends).


1. WHAT IS THE KINKIEST SEXUAL THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE?

This one time, at chorus camp, I convinced the girls I was rooming with that we should all get naked and drink Boonesfarm Stawberry all night long. Tanya got so sick! Then, we went wrapped up in bed sheets and went cow tipping. All was good and innocent fun until Jodi fell on one of the bulls and his horns went up her ass. She decided right then and there that she was going to continue having anal sex with the bull's horns. We all watched and rooted her on. Was that wrong?


2. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU HAD SEX WITH...........NO FUCKING LYING!

I lost count around #175. And then, I figured since I didn't know, I'd just start over from scratch. That happened when I met my husband. So I'll go with 1.


3. DO YOU LIKE TO SUCK DICK? DO YOU SWALLOW? IF YOUR MALE.........DON'T LIE HERE GUYS, DO YOU LIKE EATING PUSSY? FOR HOW LONG? IF GAY, ANSWER WHAT PERTAINS TO YOU!

Do I like to? Hmmmm…it's ok. I could take it or leave it. I certainly like to dish out pleasure. I will say that its much more pleasurable for me when he's just gotten out of the shower and it doesn't have that musky smell – you know what I'm talking about – he's been doing yard work for hours on a 95 degree day, comes in to have a beer and whips his dick out for you. Yeah, that's not so good for me.

I do swallow, but only because I want to see if I can feel sperm swimming in my stomach. Alannis Morisette said it best – "It feels so good – swimming in your stomach." I know, I know, she was singing about a pill, but let's face it, pills don't swim. I think she was really singing about sperm. I dare you to prove me wrong!


4. WHO WAS THE WORST FUCK AND WHY? YES I WANT NAMES, WHO CARES, YOU BOTH KNOW THEY SUCKED ANYWAY!

The worst? Geez. That's hard. Probably Jerry the first time we did it, only because his dick is gigantic and it really hurt badly. When you have a tight little snatch and someone tries to shove something the size of a state fair blue ribbon winning cucumber (not the English kind either – those are too skinny) in there, it's going to hurt. A lot. And since he was the only person EVER (right honey?) I have to pick that one.


5. EVER TURNED DOWN SEX DUE TO THE SIZE OF THEIR C*CK OR P*SSY?

This makes me laugh because someone put stars in where vowels should be and I was going to replace it, but instead I will say the only time I turned down sex due to the size of something was when the guy WAS a giant pussy.

6. WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL FANTASY? WITH WHO?

I have many fantasies. However, I would like Jerry to show up one day with Sara on one arm and Tina on the other. Then, the two girls would get naked, Jerry and I would watch some live lesbian porn. Then, we'd lock them out of the house on the back deck (still naked of course) point and laugh at their predicament and then we'd go fuck like bunnies.


7. HOW SOON HAVE YOU FUCKED SOMEONE AFTER MEETING THEM?

Oh lordy. I can't remember. Never on the first time meeting them. Usually not within the first week. I like to know who I'm pooning.


8. EVER PUKED ON SOMEONE DURING SEX?

Not on purpose. Geez. You really know how to make a girl feel dirty! What are you doing later?


9. WHO IS YOUR MYSPACE SEXUAL FUCK OF THE DAY? I'M SURE THEY WOULD LOVE TO KNOW, NOW'S YOUR CHANCE!

Hmmmm. That's a tough one. I love Gina's hair. Josh is very cute. Cranks is funny and Dianne & Meagan are just plain hot. Gary's bald head would be fun to touch (the one on his shoulders), Eric has a great voice, but Whiskey is Canadian. What to do, what to do?? TJ is smart & funny, Melissa is sassy. Then there's Katie and Lon together. Oh man, this is hard! Oh hell, I pick – Xena – Warrior Princess.


10. WHO ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST WOULD YOU NOT FUCK IF THEY WERE THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH?

I have no family on my list, so I can't narrow it down that way. So, when you say the last person on earth, you mean that there are animals left? Like a horse? Because I wouldn't fuck a horse – not even if they get rid of the herpes. I could do the Hollywood Square answer and say Jerry, but that's just a bold face lie. Oh, back to my friends list. I would not fuck Jason. Why? Because he's my neighbor and if I didn't say him, there's bound to be questions.