Things I hate

A list of things I hate, by Psycho Princess

1. I hate the news teasers. You know these things that come on at 6:00 pm for the 11:00 news. It goes something like this "Find out something that most people have in their freezer that will kill your family in 3 hours, max - watch the News at 11:00!" You usually hear this while you're sautéing the chicken breast you took out of the freezer and cooking the peas - from the freezer. So you throw it all away, and refuse to eat any food because you're certain it's all been frozen at some point, and you don't let anyone put ice in their water until you watch the news. And you watch it as they tell you that that you can disassemble the ice crusher and turn the blades into a deadly weapon that will cause a human to bleed out in 3 hours without treatment.

2. I hate not being on a regular menstrual cycle. Ever since I was 14, they come when they want - every two weeks, once every 6 months, every 28 days - you don't know! And it comes without warning, usually when wearing a white skirt, white pants or no panties.

3. I hate waking up in the middle of the night and finding dried jizz on my face and having no memory of how it got there. I'm just saying.

4. I hate it when skinny people talk about how fat they are. Check your weight and compare it to a BMI scale. You're probably right where you should be. When a skinny and in shape person complains to a heavier person about how fat they are, they're basically telling the other person "and if I'm fat, imagine what you are!" So until your BMI falls in that overweight range, don't tell people you're fat.

5. I hate it when you get your new haircut and style and someone says "Wow! You look so pretty with your hair like that!" Now why would I hate this? Because, you're basically saying "You looked like complete shit the entire time I've known you, but finally you did something right." This goes hand in hand with "No, you don't look that terrible." Can you leave the word "that" out of the sentence? Because with it in there, you're really saying "You look like ass, but I'd still screw you IF you were the last person on earth, so don't sweat it!"

6. I hate reality shows. They aren't my reality, so aren't they still somewhat of a fantasy show? I mean how many times in your life are YOU offered an immunity challenge? That's not reality for most people. They really need to call them "semi-unscripted shows of stuff that you will probably never have the need or opportunity to do shows".

7. I hate the way movies are filmed. Did you know they don't film them start to finish? They do a couple of lines from the end, a scene from the beginning, something from the middle, and in random order. If they would just shoot it start to finish, there would not be a lot fewer continuity issues.

8. And while we're talking movies, I hate pan & scan movies. When I first hooked up with Jerry, he only watched movies in wide screen mode. I absolutely HATED the black bars at the top and the bottom. I wanted it to fill up the entire screen. He explained to me about the width of the film that movies are filmed on and how when you watch it full screen on a standard tv, you aren't seeing the left and right side of the film. And often, there are things happening over there that you need to see. So when you're watching a movie formatted to fit a standard tv and they come to part of the movie where whatever was cut off on the left is necessary for the scene, they basically stop the action and slide the film over so you can see it then stop and slide it back when it doesn't matter any more. The absolutely worst example of this is "A League of Their Own." It drives me batty to watch that movie full screen. So, we bought the wide screen tv. Now, I can see everything I'm meant to see in every movie. However, the majority of tv shows have black bars on the left and right. But it's ok, because no one is sliding the film around on me.

There are other things, but there's no need to go into them. Most people who know me already know what they are. Plus, then I'd be opening up the cans that hold the topics of politics and religion. And while they're great debating topics, I've been cleaning up puke for 2 days and am probably going to have to do it again later today, and I don't have time for a debate. Unless you want to debate any of the fine points I made above. In which case, my rebuttal will probably amount to "So?" or "Nuh uh!"

Your turn! What do you absolutely hate?