Psychos Dating tips

I'm going to take a moment to share some of the lessons I learned when I was single. These are lessons I would like every woman to learn without having to go through the pain of experiencing them first hand. Before you ask, yes these things all truly did happen.

Psycho's Dating Tips
How to know early on that he is not Mr. Right

1. When you stop at the McDonald's drive-thru on your way to a concert, he orders a Big Mac meal and orders for you – a Chicken McNugget Happy Meal. Then, when he gets to the window to pay, he looks at you and says, "I'm a little short. Do you have $5?

2. When he's in his mid to late 20's and invites you over to his house and says he'll have to sneak you in because his mom doesn't allow girls inside after dark.

3. When you're out doing holiday shopping together and he tries to hide in Claire's because "Well, she's sort of my girlfriend."

4. When you run in to an old friend, who happens to be a guy and he greets your friend by saying "Oh! Are you fucking my girlfriend?"

5. 3 of your girlfriends warn you that if he tries to take you to Pieces of Eight on the waterfront, that he'll probably get in your pants.

6. He asks you for $700 to get him out of trouble and impresses upon you that if he doesn't come up with it, he's going back to jail and it will be your fault.

7. These words ever leave his mouth: "You know, you'd be really pretty if…"

8. While talking one night, he tells you bout his 2 children who are the same age – and they have different mothers.

9. He tells you he can't go into a certain store because a girl works there and if she happens to be working that night, he'll be in violation of the restraining order.

10. He says "I wouldn't let you out of the house dressed like that." (**Note the word "let" – there's the problem).

11. He says "I'm afraid if you go to college, you'll start using big words and I won't understand what you're saying."


So tell me something a man (or a woman if that's the case) has said to you early on in the relationship that either made you end it or was just a horrible foreshadowing of things to come. Look at it as your way to help all single people avoid the pitfalls of dating a loser.