These are my boobs. There are many like them, but these ones are mine!

Today is a crappy day. I can't swallow. That's all I'm going to say about that. Take it for what it's worth.

Anna kicked the bucket. So, she's dead and all. Big whoop. It's not like my life will change in any way, shape or form. There's one less fake-breasted woman walking around competing with me for the love and attention of the rich, elderly, lonely (did I already say rich?) men.

Maybe now, just once, a small breasted woman could get the guy and battle his step children in court for an inheritance. Isn't that what we all want anyway?

Why is it that the girls with the big tits always are the most popular ones? Don't people realize that those puppies are going to sag and cause back problems some day? And while those ladies are paying their chiropractors and having breast reduction surgery (or tucking them into the waist-band of their polyester pants) mine will still be as perky as they are today and then everyone will think that I have wonder tits. But why does it have to wait until I'm 70?

I used to think I wanted fake boobs. I've made lots of jokes about it, harassed my hubby to no end about buying them for me, and thought how nice it would be just to have them. But then, I thought about the things that irritate me about people with fake boobs and the biggest thing is that they are just that – FAKE. And what does that say about the person who has them? It says that you dislike who you are so much that you had yourself surgically altered. It's the same with women who have plastic surgery to improve their looks. And even fake nails, tanning beds, makeup, hair color : ALL FAKE.

I'm guilty of some of these things – makeup and hair color. However, at the end of the day, I can take the makeup off. The hair color – well that's more lasting, but I don't do it to cover gray, I do it because I crave variety. Not that it makes me any better, but that's what it is.

Why can't we all just like ourselves enough to be just as we are? Why can't others appreciate that in us? The majority of men require only a shower, shave and a haircut. They don't put on makeup every day before leaving the house. Why is it ok for them to be all natural, but women feel the need to put on at LEAST a bit of foundation before heading out?

Who makes us feel that way? The media? Society? The people we're trying to impress? Well, how's this for an impression:

MY BOOBS ARE SMALL, I KNOW. BUT THEY'RE NOT YOURS THEY ARE MY OWN. *

And I think I'll keep 'em around, just the way they are. Because they are unique. And one is smaller than the other. (It's also more sensitive – the smaller ones always are!) But most importantly – they're mine. And I can touch them whenever I want to. And you can't. So there.

So tell me this - What is one feature about you that you would never change, no matter what others may think?

*Sorry Jewel