Something you should know about me

I have a thing for violent crime. And not your average run of the mill, someone got the crap beat out of them and robbed in an alley kind of violent crime. I don't much care for your garden variety murder either. What is it that I'm obsessed with? Controversial killers, spree killers and serial killers. The Manson, Berkowitz, Bundy, Gacy, Dahmer kind of serial killers & how they got to become killers.

Now, having said that, they don't do me any good if they've never been caught or they don't know who did it. Why? Because I'm not interested in the murders themselves – that's gruesome and I am not a sick bastard. Thus, I have little interest in the Zodiac. I'm interested in the who's and the why's and yes, even some of the theories surrounding people like Son of Sam, who *I'M SORRY* was NOT acting alone, no matter what you tell me. I know better.

This is not a new fascination – it goes back at LEAST to middle school. I remember in 8^th grade, I had a speech class. We were supposed to give a persuasive speech – you know, try to persuade people to believe something. My classmates tried to persuade people of things like "Coke is better than Pepsi" or that Dina Hartel was a good choice for head cheerleader. Me? I tried to persuade my class that Jeffrey MacDonald, a Green Beret from North Carolina, murdered his wife and 2 daughters. Ah yes, I remember standing up at that podium proudly discussing blood spatters while half of the class just stared at me, the other half kept their eyes closed. Except for one boy – I wish I could remember his name – I think it was Jeff Gunderson. He listened intently. And I know he understood because in my yearbook that year, he signed it and then wrote "P.S. I think MacDonald was guilty too." Looking back on it all, that boy soooo wanted to do me and was sending out a super smarty-pants vibe, but I was a silly little naïve 8^th grade girl, just wanting to talk about killers.

Sometime around there, I read Helter Skelter for the first time. I've since been through 3 copies of the book, reading it over and over again from time to time. And every time I read it, I find something new in it that I missed before. Something in the background of Squeaky Fromme, something about the way Susan Atkins was raised. There's always something there that clicks all of a sudden. I don't think I'll ever tire of reading it.

It's why I enjoy shows like "Criminal Minds" because it's not the murders or the thrill of the chase that intrigues me. It's all in the backgrounds of the killers, the forensic evidence that leads investigators down a certain path and the ability to put it all together in the end – THAT is what turns me on about this kind of stuff.

Oh, what I would give to have this kind of insight about people. To have studied human nature so intently that I would be able to weed out any hidden undesirables from my circle of friends; to have made only good decisions in relationships. But would I really want to be doing profiles on everyone I meet before deciding whether or not to be their friend? If I had done that, would I still be talking to you?

Sure, I've formed opinions about the majority of people I've spent any time conversing with on here. I have my ideas as to which of you are stalkers and which may be harboring fantasies of world domination, death or destruction, which of you are truly here just to have some fun and talk to a wide variety of people and those of you looking for a piece of ass. Of course, they're only my opinions, but I'm probably right.

I hope that my fascination with murderers doesn't change your opinion of me, even if it seems out of character for the chick you know on MySpace.

Your turn - share something with me about yourself that may seem out of character for you.