The Disease known as "MySpace"

If you didn't know, I have MS – no, not MySpace – Multiple Sclerosis.  The two, however, are very similar, and I'll get to my theory on that in a minute. 

That being said, I'm going to do something here I wouldn't normally do.  And you'll only hear about it one other time – shortly before the event.  I am walking in the local Multiple Sclerosis walk on April 21^st.  I had my choice of 1, 3 or 5 miles.  I opted for the 3 miles only because with MS, I don't know how bad it will wreck me for the rest of the day if I did more.  I think I can get by with three miles.  ANYHOW – I need to collect 2 things:  other walkers for my team and people to sponsor me.  The walk is on April 21, 2007 here in good old Richmond.  Festivities start with a dog parade at 9:00 AM, though I believe the actual walk starts at 10:00 AM. 

 

If you're anywhere near here, come out and walk with me.  I thought afterward, we could all get together for food and frolicking.  If you can't, will you consider sponsoring me? 

 

If you want to do either, GO HERE.  On the left, you'll see buttons that say "Support Kim" and "Join Kim".  If you want to walk, pick "Join Kim" and register.  All you have to do is collect $25 in sponsors, show up and walk a little bit.  If you don't want to walk, but you'll feel guilty about not helping, pick "Support Kim" and made a donation online.  It's safe, secure, and tax deductible.  ALL support is appreciated, whether it be $5 or $500.  Come on – you can do it!

 

And now, my exposé on how MySpace is similar to Multiple Sclerosis (from here on out, MS).  And yes, the similarities between the two can be funny (at least they are to me), so laugh and giggle if you'd like.  I won't be mad.  BUT if you're going to laugh for a really long time, your ass better donate to my cause!  OH!  And I forgot to mention for all of you narcissists out there, if you donate through that website, you get your name on the little donation tally thingie-ma-bob.  Everyone will see it.  You'll be famous. 

 

Both are unpredictable 

One day, MySpace is chugging along and all is well.  Then suddenly, your account is undergoing special maintenance and you can't log on at all.  Sometimes you're messed up for an entire day, sometimes only for an hour or two.  You have no warnings about when it's going to happen.  Would it be so hard for Tom to send you a message that says:  Hey!  We're going to do special maintenance on all accounts whose user names start with P."  That would certainly be nice, but no!  Tom is a bastard. 

 

MS is similar because you seem to have no symptoms and then wake up one day and you have a whole host of new symptoms that seemed to come from out of nowhere.  They can last an hour, a day, or be permanent.  You don't know, you never know.  MS, like Tom, is a bastard. 

    

Things don't always work right
MySpace:  Will bulletins work properly?  Will I be notified of new blogs from those I subscribe to?  If so, will I be able to comment on them?  Can I get mail?  Can I respond to comments? 

 

MS:  Will I be able to walk tomorrow?  Will I be visually impaired tomorrow?  Will my memory suddenly go in the middle of the night?  Will my hands go numb?  Will I be able to wipe my own ass, or will I need to call someone to help me?  Incidentally, everyone should send me their phone number so if I'm ever stranded on the toilet, you can come help me.  Jerry can't be home all of the time you know. 

 

You don't really WANT to deal with either one, but sometimes you have to

Have you ever spent the day enjoying life, shopping, hanging out with family and friends, or whatever it is you're doing.  And you just can't wait to get home and log on.  Because it's calling you:

"Gary – you may have blog comments you should respond to!" 

"Meagan – you may have new friend requests – you should log on and find out!" 

"Siranda – somewhere, someone might be talking about underwear.  Get online!" 

 

And you just do it, don't you?

 

 "Tina – somewhere, someone needs you to talk about the natural bra!" 

"Cranky Ricky – there are donuts…" Oh wait, that last one is not MySpace, but Krispy Kreme.  Not a good example.

 

With MS, there's no cure, it's always there.  I can't just turn it off.    It's always there, even when I'm out having a good time.  I can try to ignore it, but I always have to deal with it, eventually. 

 

You know, it's no wonder that I gravitate to MySpace.  I already deal with this kind of crap on a daily basis, I'm good at it.   You should also know that they say MS can affect your sex life.  So maybe one day, I won't want to have sex - ever.  And then, I'll stop talking about it.  And Jack will feel like I don't love him anymore.  And that's just wrong, which brings this blog full circle. Donate now so that my vibrator will not have to spend a single day feeling unloved.  Do it for Jack.