Monday is here – joy of joys.
Some feminine hygiene stuff for you, sorry guys who are a bit squeamish about it. I’ll put it in italics, so if you don’t want to read about raging periods and feminine products, skip past that part. But, if you do that, you’ll miss the affectionate term I use for Jerry’s package, and an explanation about the size of my vagina. Who can pass that up?
Overall, so far, I give the Instead cup a grade of C+, although this can only go up with experienced use. I’ve re-read the instructions and spoken with Katie. I’m 75% sure I have it in right. But I find I’m being OCD about checking it’s in the right place every time I pee, and if I’m really active, I find it needs an adjustment. I’m a bit put off that when I take it out to put a new one in, my hand appears to have been used in either open heart surgery OR mass murder, although that might just be my technique.
I have been reading the manufacturer’s information about “one size fits most” and if it doesn’t work for you, you either are not inserting it correctly, OR you have a small vagina. I’m going with the small vagina to match my stunning labia. Every chick likes to believe they’ve got a small vagina, so I’ll go with that. Besides: small snatch, stunning labia, how can you go wrong? I did check into the Diva Cup as Meagan suggested (which would be fitting, seeing as I truly am a Diva), but noted 2 drawbacks to it:
1) You can’t poon anyone with it in, which is a fascinating feature of Instead – sex while you’re on the rag without the mess. (The manufacturer of instead claim he’ll never be able to feel that there’s something extra in there. But I don’t see that really happening. If I can feel it with my finger when I go to take it out, I’m sure that “Beast” will note that it’s there. I don’t know if it would be a bad thing for Beast, because the rubber ring part of it is what he may feel, and he might like that little bit of a brush with a lip of rubbery goodness. Then again, it might be painful. I’ll be sure to let you know!)
2) What if I’m in a public bathroom and it needs to be changed? I’m not sure I’d be ok with washing it out in a public restroom. I think after my experience with Instead, I could handle the having to wash it out and reusing, it’s just not always appropriate. Places this would probably be frowned upon: the lady’s room at any restaurant where the average price for dinner for one, not counting dessert and drinks, would be above $50, any men’s room that you accidentally wander into and you have to pee so badly that you don’t care and you use it anyhow, any restroom that has an attendant handing you a towel and trying to douse you with perfume (although they could come in handy). Then again, the bloody hand problem with the Instead would also not be acceptable in these places.
On to a more tasty, titillating subject:
My friend recently got a really nice MySpace message from a girl who was looking around and decided that she might be fun to know, based on her profile. At the end of this mail was the funniest thing – a link to another site where this girl is a member and a note that “I have super sexy pics up there too, the name I go by on there is Butternipples if you are interested.” Butternipples! I have since dubbed my friend “Chocolate Milk Snatch” for no other reason than Butternipples sounds warm and inviting, and Chocolate Milk Snatch would be a good “tasty” nickname. Plus, she could use the whole Chocolate Milk angle to denote when she had oral sex, and she has done so valiantly! 
See how I did that lead-in to that last paragraph? Tasty titillating subjects = butternipples! Sad, that I feel the need to point it out to you all. You’re all smart, you can figure it out without my help! However, in the past, some things have gotten by some of you, i.e., I do know what poon is and it’s got nothing to do with your ass, although it has everything to do with getting a piece of ass.
One last thing:
Does anyone know how to get a grease stain out of clothes? I have this pair of shorts (yes, I know, shorts weather is just about gone, but I LOVE these shorts!) Anyhow, on a recent overnight trip, the jar of butt paste (stop it!) broke and got all over some things. I didn’t know it would leave a big grease stain. So, I wiped off the gunk and wash them. And now, they look like I have a permanent wet spot, right on the crotch. Any tips or tricks? Or are they a lost cause?
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