Sexsomniacs and the Island of Sodor

As I sit here on Friday morning (my 2nd day of a 4 day weekend), drinking coffee, watching Thomas the Tank Engine** (please see footnote at the bottom of this post for commentary on what Thomas & Friends are teaching my child), I decided that I would actually go on a hunt for some interesting news on the internet. And lo and behold, I found it! Now, I'm not going to comment on the entire article in this blog post, just the points that are relevant to you and me. OK, more to me than you, but it'll be a fun story.

LONDON, Oct 25 (Reuters Life!) - Researchers are struggling to understand a rare medical condition where sufferers unknowingly demand, or actually have, sex while asleep, New Scientist magazine reported on Wednesday.

Have you ever noticed that all of the good research happens outside of the US? We spend our time and money trying to prove things like TV commercials make kids fat.

Research into sexsomnia -- making sexual advances toward another person while asleep -- has been hampered as sufferers are so embarrassed by the problem they tend not to own up to it, while doctors do not ask about it. As yet there is no cure for the condition, which often leads to difficulties in relationships."It really bothers me that I can't control it," Lisa Mahoney told the magazine. "It scares me because I don't think it has anything to do with the partner. I don't want this foolish condition to hurt us in the long run."

I’m curious how this condition could hurt a relationship. How many men would be bothered with their woman rolling over in the middle of the night for a little midnight action? Sure, you don’t want her to wander into your (or her) parent’s room in the middle of the night while you’re visiting and hook up with mom or dad, I get that.

Most researchers view sexsomnia as a variant of sleepwalking, where sufferers are stuck between sleep and wakefulness, though sexsomniacs tend to stay in bed rather than get up and walk about..

OK, so the mom/dad thing isn’t likely to happen. Tell me again why this is a problem – because if your partner is sleeping in a bed with someone other than you, you more than likely have other relationship issues you should explore.

"Sometimes they hate it," added Pressman of the reactions of sexsomniacs' partners. "Sometimes they tolerate it. On rare occasions you have stories of people liking it better than waking sex."

So, a sexsomniac’s partner hates that their significant other wants to have sex with them, not only when they’re awake, but also when they’re sleeping? Oh, the humanity! I’m willing to bet that I’d be able to tolerate it. I might actually enjoy it!

With no cure, addressing triggering factors -- stress or sleep deprivation -- can help, while Michael Mangan, a psychologist at the University of New Hampshire in the U.S. has set up a Web site, www.sleepsex.org, to help sufferers.

So go now, and find date for Friday night! If you get him/her to spend the night, you’ll probably get some!

Ahhhh, merry old England! Thank you for pointing this growing problem out to us. What would we do without you?

**Thomas the Tank Engine is another gift from England. It is teaching my son some interesting things! When the little English girls sing the songs with their English accent, JB copies them. He can’t always understand all of the words, because they don’t sound “normal” to him. An example, in the “Boo Song”, the kids sing “What’s that over in the corner, what’s that shadow on the wall?” Because of the accent, JB thinks they’re asking “What’s that over in the moona? What’s that shadow on the wool?” And he’ll correct you if you sing it any other way. It also has spawned phrases in our household such as “Bust my buffers!” But, like everything else, the US has “hijacked” Thomas, having the likes of George Carlin and Alec Baldwin “read” the stories. Whenever I hear one that Carlin is narrating, I keep waiting for him to add in some cuss words to make it more interesting to adults.

And another thing – I think that the majority of trains on the Island of Sodor are homosexual, or perhaps bi-sexual. The ONLY time I don’t get this impression is when Carlin is doing the voices. Baldwin does a spectacular homosexual voice when he makes Percy yell “Woooooah!” I think there’s a lot of buffer busting going on in Tidmouth Sheds.

There’s also some trans-gender issues as in one episode, “Rusty” is a female train and in another, she’s a male with a very low voice. There are also very few female trains on the Island, which makes me believe that “Emily” is probably a cross-dresser. And don’t even get me started on Diesel. That’s something you should talk to Nancy Drew about.