Things you may need to know about me, or not

As I sit in my office drinking coffee on this fine Monday morning, only two things are on my mind – Paul Newman and a ride home.  Oh great, there I go channeling Ponyboy Curtis again…he sometimes gets in my head and makes me say things I don't mean.  So, what is really on my mind?  Not much, to tell you the truth.  I had a great blog planned on the huge number sexual innuendos in children's books, but Meagan beat me to it.  I think maybe she channels me when I channel Ponyboy.  It's odd, don't you think?

 

Then, I thought I could come up with some more silly things I've said in error, but the only one that comes to mind is what I said last night, when tossing trash across the deck, as it swished right into the trash can and I announced "I've got back!" 

 

Yeah, I know, "I've got GAME" is the proper thing to say.   Oh well, I ain't no Harlem black girl, ya know.

 

So I thought about just some random facts you may not know about me.  Here we go:

 

85% of the people I'm close to are on some kind of medication for some psychiatric disorder.  Anxiety, depression, social phobias, and the like.  I, however, am not currently taking any. 

 I think THIS is freakin' hilarious…

 

I've only known 4 gay people in my entire life.  However, I've known a TON that are probably gay and either are in denial or in hiding - probably from the right wing fanatics.   Either way, they're some of the coolest people I've ever known and it has nothing to do with the fact that they are gay.  It has to do with the fact that they are snazzy dressers and like to dance.  Well, except for the chick.  She's not such a snazzy dresser. The religious right should leave gay people alone and let them have all the same rights that heterosexual couples have.  After all, they're people too! 

I bought some thongs at Target yesterday.  I have to see what all the fuss is about. 

 

I don't go to church – ever.  Don't like it.  Have other things to do. 

 

My son discovered this weekend that he has nipples.  He was rubbing in the baby powder after his bath and when he ran into one, he said "What's this one?"  He also told me about the humidifier I was going to turn on since his nose was stuffy, "Don't turn that thing on to bother me tonight mommy!"  How can you argue with that?  He's taken a liking to saying that everything scares him.  He said "Mommy, I'm scared."  "Of what honey?"  And then he thinks and names the first thing he sees.  "Daddy", "the dogs", "Owls"…it doesn't matter what it is.  He just wants to be scared of something.

 

Just this very moment, I discovered what this shirt means and why it's funny.

 

Originally, I wanted to be cremated, but am having second thoughts.  But ONLY if I can have this as my headstone:

 

 

I've recently lost 38 pounds but I still think my ass is huge.  Is that normal?

 

I didn't get any last night – my hubby was watching the football game.  Sorry about the Seahawks babe. At least YOU would have scored (darn Seahawks!)

 

And that is me for Monday!