Seriously now...

I've been having such a blast writing silly things, but I need to take one day to share some of *me* with you.  I really don't care to talk much about myself, as I don't think I'm anything super special or spectacular.  I'm just a chick who likes to have a good time.  But all of the seriousness around me has made me think that I really needed to examine some stuff about myself, including how I define myself and what makes me, well ME!

I may have MS, but I don't really want that to define me.  I don't want to garner pity from anyone because of it either.  I don't want to be treated special or have exceptions made for me, because for the most part, I'm just like everyone else at this point, well, except for my innards, but hey, no one is perfect!

I worry that if I were to die today, those who know me would characterize me as loyal, caring, fun-loving, intelligent yet a bit goofy at times and "oh yeah, she had MS."  And let me tell you how much that would fucking suck.  I get tired of hearing people use it as an excuse for not asking me to participate in something - "Well, I thought you'd be too tired and not be up for it." Or "I thought it'd be too much for you."  Since when did having an illness of any kind make it ok for other people to judge what I can and can't do, what I'm up for, or what I feel like?  And it pisses me off because last I checked, I'm still capable of making my own decisions.

I don't make friends very easily, because I'm still a shy, awkward girl from the Midwest who wound up here in VA.  I have a couple of close friends, and that's it.  And I'm ok with that.  I'm not much of a phone person, so I find it difficult to maintain friendships with those who require a certain amount of time on the phone.  Plus, I don't fit in with the typical "southern woman" who is prim and proper and likes shopping, shoes and fashion.  Shit, I just bought me a pair of jeans the other day - first time I've bought jeans in about 5 or 6 years.  I'd rather hang out with a bunch of guys.  It's always been like that, and probably always will be. 

I'm a huge flirt, always have been.  I'm not very good at it, but that's ok because I have what I need in the love department and I just find flirting to be fun and amusing.  There's nothing better than being all flirty with a guy, watching him walk away, then turning to your friends or co-workers and announcing, "He wants me."

I was always sick as a kid, then went through a period where I was as healthy as can be, but went back to the sickness thing, but instead of bronchitis and strep throat all the time, I've gained chronic conditions.  That sounds better than illnesses or disorders.

I used to be quite the good Christian girl, but find myself more and more not finding comfort in those things any longer, which is both sad and enlightening.  That's not to say I don't believe in a higher power.  Sometimes I wish I could find that again, but my faith in God and man has truly gone south and I'm unsure that I'll ever get back there again. 

I like football and hockey.  I love cooking.  I used to love doing cross stitch but my hands are permanently asleep and I'd poke myself with the needle too often.  Mix that with my blood thinners and a fun little winter scene becomes Silent Night, Deadly Night.  I tried crochet, but it takes too long to look like something and I have zero patience when it comes to that stuff.

I used to be in therapy, but I couldn't stand the therapist's hair.  I found myself staring at it the entire 45 minutes.  Besides, what she would tell me was the exact same things that my friends told me for free. 

My  mom is my hero, still lives in Wisconsin where her whole family is.  I love her dearly and am so proud of her for all she's been through.  From her, I got my common sense, my morals and values and my nose.  My dad - well, he's my dad.  Not a very active part in my life, as I'm sure you've all read in the past.  He lives in King Cove, Alaska with my Step-Mother.  From him, I got my natural curls, my sense of humor and my eyes. 

To sum it up:  Who am I?  I'm the fucking President of PEST dammit!  Have you NOT been paying attention to anything? 

Bald is beautiful baby!  Go bald for the day and you too can be on my top friends list.  Because tomorrow, I'm going back to random people in random places and if anyone wants to bitch about it, I can always delete you. 

See?  I think I've lost my ability to make it through a blog being 100% serious.  It just isn't for me, I'm sorry.  It must be the brain leisions - or perhaps the ones on my spinal cord.