You Don’t Get to Judge Anyone…

…unless you have docket. That’s right, if you aren’t actually a judge, keep your trap shut and make your way down the hall, last door on the left…farther…farther…very good. Now close the door. All the way. I CAN SEE YOU PEEKING!

I have been inspired! Inspired by all that is good and right with the world to take a stand. A stand against those folks out there that believe that they are beyond reproach, all the while jamming their morals, their values, their religions, their opinions right down your throat (this includes most extreme right (& yes, even the left) wingers, Jesus talkers, sinners, saints, the Pope, bishops, Reverends, Cardinals, blue jays, finches and mean old crows. It’s these people (and some birds) that are truly endangering the American way of life, being freedom to choose.

“You talk too much about sex.” Don’t listen!
“Abortion is murder” So is denying stem cell research.
“You’re going to hell!” Good thing I’ll have you as my guide.
“Your jeans are too tight.” You have visible panty lines and really need to wear a thong. “You are wasting your life.” And you’re any better sitting over there in your mushroom cloud produced from your 3-foot water bong?

I think that those who are doing all the judging have probably got a very naughty, dirty past. Somewhere, they’ve done something they consider immoral (extramarital affairs, murder, abuse and neglect of another person, masturbating while weating a choir robe and listening to chamber music) and are now attempting to atone for it by preaching their morality, their beliefs to the masses. They quote the Bible, but in doing so they push you further and further away from their religious zealoutry (is that a word? I’m using it anyway!). And further more, while quoting the Bible, they’re passing judgment on you and your lifestyle. I say to these people: It’s not for you to judge our lives, our words, our choice of underwear, our breakfast cereals, how we’re raising our children, what we name our pets, or who we share our vast knowledge of sex toys with. If we want your approval, we’ll ask you for it. Until then stop trying to make us earn it. It’s a useless fight. Every time you push, we’re pulling harder (and our men are THRILLED about this. Yours would be too, really!)

I thought about Kris(ten)(sy) who considered making some of her blogs readable by friends only. She must have had something she wanted to say and was concerned about being badgered by someone who had no room to judge her actions. I’m sure Jesus wasn’t telling her that if he logged on to MySpace and saw any posts from her he didn’t like that she was destined to lead a sad lonely life. I’m pretty sure that Sam Alito wasn’t hounding her either (although with that whole wire-tapping & domestic spying hoo-ha, you never can tell!) I don’t think she’s ever mentioned Jihad, so there’s no danger there. And she sucks at being sneaky (everyone around her knows when she’s taking a picture of someone’s ass), so they’re not really interested in her.

I thought about the different places I’ve been in life (including ancient Egypt – quick! Get a wiretap! I’m talking about the middle east!!) and it seems to me there is always someone who doesn’t approve of something I’m doing. And if I’m not physically or emotionally abusing someone (aside from my husband, but that’s expected), putting others in real and tangible danger, or doing something illegal, I say you should mind your business. I don’t hit my children, I don’t neglect them, and I certainly don’t share my more adult interests with them. So if I want to talk about how awesome it would be to masturbate while watching 2 folks go at it in some porno flick, don’t assume I’m a bad person. Take a look in your own closet and see if there is anything in there. I’m willing to bet there is.

Above all, realize that if people don’t ask you for your opinion about their lifestyle, don’t offer up what you think is wrong with it. I really dislike the lifestyle of some of my family members & even some friends, but you know what? It’s their business and not my place to pass any sort of judgment on them, and I certainly wouldn’t berate them or push my lifestyle on them. I accept that this is how they are and live my life the way I want to, fully expecting them to do the same. Then again, I don’t think the guys I’m talking about would make very good princesses – well, except one of them.

Anyhow, for those of you who want to tell everyone that judgment day is coming, and point out all they’re doing “wrong”, perhaps you should spend what time is left preparing yourself, and worrying about yourself. Oh, and douche while you’re at it (I don’t think stanky cooch is welcome in heaven – it’s pretty much frowned upon MOST places).

I do have to give props to Jesus – he’s got a bunch of fanatics following him and they’ve never actually met him.

And one more thing: In case of rapture, this body will be rocking out with an iBuzz. I’d like to see how some old Motley Crue like “Shout at the Devil” would do with it.