I got up this morning and realized something – If I were in a dominant-submissive relationship, I would SO be the Dom! Must be because of my slave status at work and my “mom-housewife” status at home. It’s been said (by a friend of mine, we’ll call “Mary”) that when in this type of relationship, you generally play the opposite of what you are in life. I’m sure my strong dislike of anything anal related would prohibit me from being the sub anyhow. “Mary” told me about the butt-plug requirement she had (EWWWW). Not up my alley…literally!
And that got me thinking about choices:
If I had my choice of being electrocuted or dying from lethal injection, I’d go lethal injection. Hands down. I’m not afraid of needles, but I really dislike being shocked, even if it’s just due to static electricity. I really dislike when Jerry goes to put the moves on me and *BBBZZZZTTTT!* However, I shoot up with needles 3 times every week (hey, it’s down from twice a day, so cut me some slack) and have no problems with needles.
If I had my choice of being with a person of the opposite sex (for me, that would be a man if you didn’t already know…) who was hideous,
required that I stay inside and in his presence 24/7, and couldn’t perform sexually but was a sweetheart OR being with one who was incredibly hot, awesome in bed but was a real asshole and abused me either physically or mentally, I’d become a homosexual – or write off relationships all together unless it was with a battery operated boyfriend. Seriously though, if my life depended upon it and those were my only 2 choices and I couldn’t pick death or swinging the opposite direction, I’d go with the hideous guy. I can always diddle myself. However, if choice number one involved NO sexuality at all, not even with myself or objects d’art, I would have to seriously reconsider. I’m certain however, I’d go celibate over abuse. I may go insane in the process, but IMHO anything is better than any kind of abuse. On a related note, why do sexual things that other people are not required for tend to end in “-ate” (celibate, masturbate, inflate-a-date)
If I had my choice of voting for either George W. Bush or Hilary Clinton (and write ins weren’t allowed), I wouldn’t vote. I’d exercise my freedom to choose NOT to participate because I seriously don’t think either of them have enough sense to do the right thing at the right time. (we’re being shown that right now, aren’t we?) Of course, Georgie can’t run again, so this is a moot point. Now if I had my choice between who I’d have sex with, I’d have to say Hilary. This COULD be a problem though as I suspect she’s a Dom.
If I had to choose to be either a die-hard Catholic or a Muslim extremist, I’d kill myself. I seriously couldn’t be either. They are both fundamentally fucked up, IMHO. And yes, I’m THAT anti-Catholicism that I would kill myself before choosing that over a Muslim extremist. Please note when I say “Muslim Extremist”, I’m talking about the death & destruction-happy Muslim, not your average, peaceful Muslim.
If I had to choose between allowing polar bears or penguins to become extinct, it’d be penguins. Only because I love polar bears. And if I could find a way to keep one in my backyard that wasn’t inhumane or dangerous to myself and my family, I’d do it. If only Coca-Cola worked as good with taming a polar bear as it appears to in the commercials. If I try getting one and want to sled down a hill on him, and I offer him a Coke first and he attacks me, can I sue Coca-Cola bottling company for false advertisement?
If I had to have a child with someone who was a different race than I am, I’d have to pick an Asian, I think. Why?
The Paul Lynde on Hollywood squares answer: Because if it were a boy he’d be good at math and if it were a girl, she’d be good in bed, all the more exciting if she’s a twin (and all moms want their daughters to be good in bed in order to exert complete control over men!) The real answer: I think that stereotypes and bigotry in this world would be less harsh on Asians. I guess it depends on where you go, but that’s what I see from where I sit.
If all methods of birth control were equally effective and I could choose any one of them without risk to my health, I’d go with condoms. Sure, they may spoil the mood a bit, but I’m selfish! I don’t want to be the one with jizz dripping out of me the next day. I’m sorry, but I don’t enjoy that “creamy feeling” the next day. It’s a mess that if I could be done with, I would. Ideally, they’d make some kind of easily applicable thing for a chick that you could put in at the beginning of the day, leave it in for as long as you need to so that you were always ready to go. Now, the catch is this: It has to totally line the inside of the vagina, cooch, snatch, box, whatever you prefer to use here. And it has to be made of something that will not inhibit feeling for either partner. And, do get it out, it has to be as simple as pulling a little string or tab and the whole things comes out, splooge and all. No mess, no unwanted pregnancy, no inconvenience. Shoot, if they would just make one of those, even if it doesn’t prevent pregnancy, I think a lot of women would buy it, just to avoid the messiness. I know I would.
If I had to pick one person’s blog to read daily (and I could only pick one), I would seriously be in hell because I like so many different people’s for so many different reasons. At this point though, I would probably pick Meagan’s because she writes something almost every day and sometimes it makes me think and sometimes it’s just flat out funny and entertaining. Other days, it just is a reminder that even in the absence of something totally exciting, we all have something worth sharing. I would encourage everyone who blogs at all to blog something every day. Because even if you think it’s uninteresting or unimportant, others may not find it to be so.
I challenge each of you to think about these things. What would you choose?
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