Warcrack is invading my peaceful home!

Ever since having a baby, I use phrases differently than I used to. Perhaps none more so then "I think I just peed a little." Please know that if I tell you that, I truly have pissed in my pants. I can't help it. Things just haven't been the same since the birth day. Speaking of birthdays, mine is coming up. I would like cold hard cash please - I'm saving for a trip to Wisconsin where I can hopefully meet up with a couple of people I met on here, even if it's just for a quick beer or, if I'm there for Summerfest, a good band. We shall see what happens!

Now, on to my topic of the day - the addiction that is taking over my home, and making me think that there MUST be professional help out there. NO, the addiction is not MySpace. That is one that is more formed out of necessity. Meaning it's necessary for me to come here and communicate with people who aren't in danger of overdosing on fantasy.

Yes, I'm talking about World of Warcraft. This apparently addicting game has taken over my home, my husband and my step son. Jerry is 34. Dakota is 12. This little addiction has taken over their lives and has taken hundreds of dollars from our wallets, sent them across the internet to some pusher and returned to them in the form of "gold" for the game. Not real gold, mind you, like a nice chain for my collection, rings or earrings. PRETEND GOLD PEOPLE! Not even stuff you can hold on to! And what do you do with this gold? Why you SPEND IT in the GAME REALM on shit that no one in their right mind needs. Broad swords, healing potions, magic items, rods, staffs, vibrators and...Vibrators? I didn't mean that. Obviously, my mind was somewhere else, what with all of the talk of rods and staffs.

Now, because the selling of gold isn't enough for these pushers, they recently released some new add on pack for their "game". Something about "Your wife's eyes burning a hole through your head." If I had any programming know-how, I would write a scenario for this, and when you installed it, it would melt your computer, then reached out and slapped the shit out of you, thanked you for spending your child's college tuition on it and told you to tune back in to the real world. How is that for intervention?

Allow me to bring you into my world by sharing with you they typical layout of a Friday or Saturday night.

Josh has gone to bed. Jerry is on the couch to the left of me. Dakota, in the playroom to my right, where they can talk to each other regarding their game, always loud enough to interfere with my ability to follow the events of whatever show I'm attempting to watch. And for some reason, they MUST converse with each other. J is for Jerry, D is for Dakota, M will be for ME. C is for cookie - that's good enough for me.

D: Dad! There's a level 60 Orc Warrior in the Blasted Lands. I need greater mana potions!

J: Not now son, I'm battling a level 55 undead shaman in Booty Bay. And after that, I need to go to Stormwind and turn in these quests.

M: Can you both just shut the hell up for 5 minutes? Gibbs just said something to Tony and now I have to rewind it.

J: Watch your language, Kim. OH! OH!! HOLY SHIT! Dakota!! Blah blah blah broadsword, blah blah blah, Horde, blah blah blah level 63. HOLY SHIT!

D: Oh man Dad! Where are you? I'm headed over there. I've got to see this.

J: You'll never make it on time.

At this time, Dakota walks into th room and sits next to Jerry to WATCH him play this game on his computer. Now there's some father-son bonding.

There's lots of talk about mana, virtue, staffs, swords and the like. I think it is much easier to understand my 3 year old tell me bout Go Diego Go, using a combination of kid-speak, English, Spanish and his made up language where EVERYTHING ends in the sound "UH".

AND I COULD CARE LESS! I HATE THIS FUCKING GAME. Morning till night, they play. It's been dubbed World of WarCrack, and I see why. Something does not allow them to turn off the game and walk away. I could say "Honey! The kitchen is on fire!" He'd say "I'll get there as soon as I can. I'm fighting Yeti's in WinterSpring. If I walk away now, I'll die." SO, what to do? Do I allow him to learn the ultimate lesson that if he doesn't walk away now, HE is literally going to die when the real fire in the kitchen spreads? What to do, what to do?

I go to bed alone every night and wake up to pee around midnight most nights - still alone. At least I have plenty of uninterrupted time for Jack & Venus. But it's sad. He blames it on the meds. I think it's the craft. I fully expect one day to wake up with Josh at 6 and see them both sitting on the couch in the dark, their faces lit up by the light from the laptop screens. A mountain of empty food wrappers between them and soda bottles filled to the top with piss because they were on some fantastical quest that would not end and simply could not just walk away. Apparently you don't do that. Because the fate of the world rests upon your shoulders.

You know, come to think of it, it reminds me of how some people pour everything they have into following politics. Think of the Horde as the Republicans and the Alliance as the Democrats. And somehow, W has achieved the status of Level 70, Undead Shaman. Who will save us now? Will it be Hillary, perhaps as a level 70 Knight Elf Priest? You never can tell.

As for me, I'll stick with MySpace and interacting in a realistic world (sort of) with realistic people (sort of) for free. I've spent nothing but time and the best part?? I can shut it off without finishing whatever it is that...