Sing it Lionel! (s) little brother.

There have been a flurry of emails asking what's going on with me. I thought instead of replying to each of the inquirers, I would make a public announcement. Jerry & I are good as gold. I am just fine. Peachy, even. I've had some sort of epiphany in the last day or so and I will no longer be serving as anyone's whipping post. I know, I know, you were all so patiently waiting for your turn to smack me around, but now, it's all about me. It's Psycho time! I even restarted my MS meds after a 4 month hiatus. Enough said. Moving on –

I need some dream analysis please! I'm really excited about this dream because I think it means something. I mean I KNOW there's some special meaning behind it. And I'm so excited about it, that I'm going to talk about it like a teenage cheerleader, and just keep on gushing. Good luck following it! Here goes:

I dreamed (is it really dreamed or is it dreamt?) I really screwed up my hair color and cut by trying to do it all at home. SO, I made an appointment to get my hair fixed. In my dream, I lived in Wisconsin, BUT the roads were named after Virginia roads (i.e., 64 West). So anyway, I'm on my way to get my hair done and I think my appointment is at 1:45. I notice it's 1:30 and I suddenly have no idea how to get where I want to go. So, I call my sister. She tells me to get on 64 West. She gives me the exit number and tells me that I'll know I'm close, because I'll hear the music.

SO, I get off (no, not THAT kind of getting off – that happens MUCH later) at the correct exit. I hear loud music, and I pull in and walk in the front door of a little building sitting on a corner. It's like a duplex (you know, one family lives up and another lives down) but the downstairs has a big glass front. So, I go in and sitting on the couch are The Commodores. Complete with the giant afros and bell bottom polyester jump suits. And they're singing "Brick House", but it's not Lionel singing. It's some kid – who is about 7. Lionel was sitting on the couch just smiling. Then, I see the lady who owns the salon and I look at my watch, expecting to see that I'm really, really late and fretting over the fact that they salon charges you $11 (why $11? Hell if I know!) for a missed appointment. But my watch says it's only 1:15 and since my appointment is at 1:45, I'm actually early. Even though earlier in my dream it was 1:30. Are you following this? Salon owner says, "I don't care when you get here, let's go!"

So, I follow her into the basement where there are a bunch of people sitting around, staring at a blank TV. The salon owner says "My sister will do your hair" and then turns on a movie which is Pulp Fiction. And the whole group of women starts having oral sex with each other.

Her sister takes me by the hand up this really skinny stairwell into the salon, pushes me down into a chair (hands on my boobs, mind you) and asks me what I want her to do to me. And I'm trying to tell her what's wrong with my hair. She's looking and says she doesn't see anything wrong with it at all, but she'd be happy to service my other areas. And she kept touching all my goodies. And I'm trying to tell her what color I want my hair to be, ignoring the fact that she's feeling me up – almost like I expected her to do that and it just isn't doing it for me. And she just says she can't understand what's wrong with my hair the way it is. And I yell at her "If you would take your hand out of my twat you would KNOW what my problem is!"

And then MY sister walks in and sits down with her perfectly perfect hair. The woman looks at her and says "You on the other hand – you need a lot of help." And as I sat there wondering why she wouldn't do my damn hair, I hear the Commodores start singing "Sail On", so I got up and started singing along with them at the top of my lungs, left $11 on the counter for my missed appointment and walked out the door smiling.

What do you think that was about? Being that I'm in love with music and lyrics, I'm sharing the lyrics to Sail On. I just KNOW it means something. What do you think?

Sail on, down the line
about half a mile or so
And I don't really wanna know
where you're going
Maybe once or twice you see
Time after time I tried
To hold on to what we got
But now you're going
And I don't mind
About the things you're gonna say
I gave all my money and my time
I know it's a shame
But I'm giving you back your name
Guess I'll be on my way
I won't be back to stay
I guess I'll move along
I'm looking for a good time
Sail on down the line
Ain't it funny how the time can go
All my friends say they told me so
But it doesn't matter
It was plain to see
That a small town boy like me
Just I wasn't your cup of tea
I was wishful thinking
I gave you my heart
And I tried to make you happy
And you gave me nothing in return
You know it ain't so hard to say
Would you please just go away
I've thrown away the blues
I'm tired of being used
I want everyone to know
I'm looking for a good time

Which brings me to the question of the day: Would you let your hair dresser feel you up?